Understanding Gaslighting and Its Impact

Manipulation can take many forms, often subtly working its way into individuals’ lives without their even recognizing it. In these times, it’s important for our church community to be aware of dangerous forms of manipulation, including spiritual and legal means of manipulation.

Gaslighting is a non-physical form of emotional and/or psychological manipulation that takes the form of systematic denial, distortions of truth, lying, misdirection and misinformation with the intent of controlling the victim. The end goal of such behavior is to cause the victim to question their reality in some way, leaving them confused and disoriented. It can also lead to depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and emotional instability. That’s why as your pastor, I feel it’s important for us to tackle the topic of gaslighting and how we can best protect ourselves and our church body from its insidious effects.

Faith and understanding can help us avoid falling into this trap that is becoming all too common. However, it’s important not just for you to be aware of, but for us as a community. Together, we can help guard each other from the harmful effects of those who choose to manipulate others to gain control.

If someone was purposely attempting to manipulate you, one of the most common tactics they would use is to deny something you know to be true, calm your emotions or convince you of a different “truth.” This can be done verbally, such as telling you that the thing you said or did never happened. Or it can happen by way of action, such as doing something hurtful and then acting like it never happened or that you’re overreacting. The end goal is to make you question your reality or accept that their version of events is true.

Gaslighting can occur in relationships between friends, romantic partners, parents and children, or between individuals and authority figures such as employers, religious leaders, government officials and more. If you are in this type of situation, or are a witness to it, you may be able to access the legal system to help you step out of a toxic environment.

This is not an easy thing to do, first and foremost because being in the situation for an extended period of time can wear down your mental and emotional strength. You may even truly believe that your version of events is wrong when someone tells you otherwise. You may also be afraid of the potential results of exposing the truth.

However, you do have options. Here are some steps to consider:

The importance of evidence cannot be stressed enough when understanding how to prove gaslighting in court. Even though this type of manipulation is non-physical and can take on a variety of forms, it’s still crucial to put together as much proof as possible to support your claims if you want to take this to legal action.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you gather evidence for your case:

Gaslighting can be a powerful experience, and it’s very likely to leave emotional and psychological scars on the victim. So after you leave the situation, the best thing you can do (in addition to gathering evidence) is to pray. Let God guide you through this troubling time and allow him to provide direction and help you heal.

Here are a few scriptures to meditate on:

Perhaps one of the most important elements of overcoming manipulation is making sure you have a good support system in place. No matter whether you choose to pursue legal action or not, make sure you’re surrounding yourself with supportive and caring people who can help you and encourage you spiritually.

In some cases, you may be able to get the testimony of trusted spiritual leaders to give further evidence to your claims and showcase the harm this manipulation has caused. This can be extremely valuable in a religious context.

In order to make sure your legal case is solid, always seek the counsel of an attorney to ensure you have access to the justice you deserve.